Even If You Don't Love Me
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: It's during that post deed cuddle that Dave rarely gets that Kurt reaches over and grasps Dave's hand. Usually Kurt leaves to take a shower, but this time is different. .:. future set drabble. Kurtofsky, obviously. inspired by a .gif on Tumblr.


**A/N: I was inspired by a gif. Yeah, strange, I know. But you need to see this gif; it looks a lot like Dave's and Kurt's hands. Uncannily so. C:**

**Link (please remove spaces): **http : / / . tumblr. com/ tumblr_lhas0bIXtn1qzjbj5o1_500. gif

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It's during that post-sex cuddle that Dave Karofsky loves so much but only rarely gets when Kurt's smaller hand suddenly reaches behind where it had been resting on the paler boy's thigh to smooth over Dave's. Dave lifts a finger and laces the digits together, loving the feel of Kurt's smaller hand lying atop his own.

Dave presses a little closer beneath Kurt's ridiculously patterned sheets (cherries on cream, _really?_) and touches his lips to the nape of Kurt's neck.

Kurt actually bothers to scoot backward until his body is lined up exactly with Dave's, like two spoons in a drawer. It normally isn't this full of contact; Kurt usually showers after sex. Dave always prays that this only meant that Kurt was a little OCD and not, say, disgusted with Dave in any way, only settling for Dave because he was convenient. Yet here he is, still in bed, and willingly moving into Dave's arms.

Dave slides his arm out from under his pillow to reach under Kurt's head on the same pillow, following his arm down until he can lace their other hands together. He brings the initial pair up to Kurt's chest, Kurt's heart beating beneath his palm. He presses closer still, trying to savor the moment, and plants a kiss on Kurt's throat.

"I do one thing and suddenly you're all over me," Kurt says with an amused but sleepy tone. He leans his head back and snuggles with a sigh against Dave's torso. There's a visible sheen on his forehead from their previous deeds. "I should have had you pinned for a hopeless romantic, David. You were also so very _charming _in high school," he teases lightly, playing up the sarcasm on the word 'charming.'

"Shut up. I was really retarded with love and stuff back then," Dave grumbles, closing his eyes and turning his nose into Kurt's hair. Kurt smells of shampoo and sweat and something tangy and sexual in the background, something like pheromones.

"And how are you now about 'love and stuff'?" Kurt genuinely wants to know, his voice soft and unusually passionate.

Dave's heart skips a beat from Kurt's tone alone. His breath hitches in his throat for a moment, trying to think of how to respond. He curls inward on Kurt, coming impossibly closer, until the sheets around them become nonexistent and it's just skin-on-skin again. He frees his left hand and bends it at the elbow to reach up and brush back the hair falling over Kurt's forehead and to lazily touch his jaw and chin with a fingertip or two.

"I'm hopefully better at it," he says at last, craning his neck to peer down at Kurt's face. The other young man's eyes flutter open, aquamarine-hazel peering up into brown-hazel. Dave goes on with a squeeze to their laced hands over Kurt's heart, "Because I've been trying to be better at it. I know that I'm not your first choice – I never will be – but I love you, Kurt. I love you more than I can ever show you. You're the best thing in my life right now, one of the only things that keeps me going most days. And I know– I know you probably don't feel the same, might never feel the same –" Kurt's face looks heartbroken, empathetic, worried – "But I don't care." He leans down, forcing Kurt to face forward again as he brushes his lips over Kurt's trapezius. "This is all I need. And if we ever break up – which is likely, I know, because we fight sometimes – I wouldn't mind as long as it's what you wanted, and if you didn't hate me, then I'd be okay."

Because Kurt being happy with or without Dave has come to be all he needs. Not all he wants, of course; Dave wants Kurt's love, and wants sex and life-partner status and adopted children, but he is well aware that he might not get all these things from Kurt. And he doesn't mind. He can't, when he loves Kurt this much. He was blind and stupid in high school, but he's fixing things. He has been ever since he and Kurt re-met in sunny San Francisco post-college at a sushi bar. Dave dislikes sushi, but it was a decent job so he took it, and, naturally, Kurt came in for a meal. They had recognized each other immediately, and while Kurt was hesitant at first to Dave's advances, he caved in, agreeing to one date. And now here they are, boyfriends for nearly a year and a half now.

"Dave… I don't know what to say to you," Kurt murmurs, sounding on the brink of tears.

"I didn't expect you to say anything. Just lay here a bit longer before you leave for your shower, okay?" the taller man mumbles in response, his lips on Kurt's akin again, and his hand flattening under Kurt's manicured one to feel Kurt's every heartbeat.

"I do love you," Kurt whispers, eyes closed, chest quivering with shuddering breaths to ward off the tears threatening to spill. Those words… they are just too intense, too concrete, and too _real._ He never thought he would hear such things, and especially not from the guy who bulled him about ten years ago. Bullied so fiercely that Kurt switched schools. It almost doesn't add up. Almost makes no sense. Except Kurt lived the near-impossibility, and he knows like he knows how blue the sky is and when the sun will rise each morning that it's all inescapably true.

"Just not as strongly as I love you. I know," Dave answers simply, not sounding wounded in the least. "You're in love, that fleeting fuzzy, squirming feeling in your stomach when you're with me. But I _love_ you, and that's permanent. I feel it in my core, my very being, and it's more than just liking your voice or your hair or your smile or your wit or your fashion sense. It's everything, every last bit of you, even the pieces of yourself you aren't very proud of or dislike entirely. I love it _all._ And even though I know it's not gonna happen, I still love you enough to want to be with you until the day I die."

"Dave… stop, please. I-I can't hear this any longer," Kurt chokes, and the tears do fall now, and he feels limp and weak as he crumbles in Dave's arms, his back shrinking into Dave's chest, scattered with soft curls.

"Why not?" Dave answers crisply, but not without kindness. He props himself up on his elbow beneath the pillow under their heads and uses his hand on Kurt's chest to lean the boy onto his back so that he can peer directly down into that angelic, pale face. Pale even in California, land of the sun. Dave would smile if he weren't aching so much inside. "Don't say you don't deserve it. But if it freaks you out, if you have commitment issues, then that's fine. I can deal with that. I'm not much different; why else do you think that, even in a city like this, I'm still relatively closeted? I have issues committing to myself and what I am. But I can be here for _you, _Kurt. And if I can't have much from you, at least let me have your ear so you can hear how I feel about you."

Kurt reaches up with his free hand and wipes his eyes. He glances away for a moment, then peers back up at his lover. An ironic smile touches his palely pink lips. "How come you couldn't have been this sweet in high school?"

"Because I was too afraid of what others thought of me, and I knew that Lima wasn't the place or time to be anything but a brick wall. If I wasn't an asshole, I would've been stomped all over and you know it. I didn't have your confidence in myself, Kurt, or anything worthwhile like singing or good clothes to hide behind. Only my stupid letterman jacket."

It's so true that Kurt can't help but sputter a laugh, nodding his head the whole time. He looks away again, blinking slowly, and then with a final sigh, he turns back over onto his side and shuts his eyes. "Lie down, David. I need to sleep. I'll shower later."

"All right, Kurt," Dave murmurs, and returns to spooning the man he loves. Their hands still together as Kurt swings them back down to rest on Dave's hip, Dave closes his own eyes and falls asleep as well.


End file.
